Saturday, September 16, 2017

2017/09/17

有时发现自己情绪上不会表达,很难说出口。
一方面是觉得不想把自己的情绪给别人造成负担,
二是觉得有时候自己有很不理智的想法/行为,连我自己也需要时间去解读到底是为什么,
所以一句“没事,I'm fine” 是最convenient的方式去end the topic.

爱人很多次会发现异常而一直追问,他的性格是有问题就要解决,然后会探究问题的根源,把一切摊开来说,很感激他是这样的性格。

因为我是很多事情会hide under the carpet,一些明明很在意但是又觉得对他是小事情(可能他还会觉得我无理取闹)然后拼命要掩饰自己的想法当作一切都很okay很fine其实内心很在意很纠结然后就觉得很委屈默默流下我的女人泪。我自己都觉得很drama,所以才不想告诉爱人啊。sigh。但是我不是好演员所以他都会看出来。(这是女人的通病吗?)

爱人每次都会很耐心的解决/解释/哄我。很感动遇到这样的他。我不想自己的任性把他吓跑,(你知道我很爱你吗)爱的quota有一天终究会被无数的小摩擦和无聊事磨灭的。但既然摩擦是无法避免的话,我可以做的是让爱quota增加就是一直努力的去爱你。(加分了就有quota来减分哈哈)

想想下,内心还是特怕那种vulnerable的感觉。就是把自己的把柄,opps sorry i mean heart <3 certified="" div="">

今天星期日,其实好想躺在你旁边一起读书什么的,就抱抱你然后过个慵懒的午后。但是觉得你应该需要一些me time a.k.a away from clingy sticky gf off day吧。所以忍痛不去找你。

有点累有点emo但是还是想你。

Tata. Enjoy your Sunday.

With love







Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Hi J

Gonna dedicate this post to you. 

In case I forgot what happened and to make sure there will be some remnants for me to reminisce one day.

First met in Zouk.

Second in Puchong with my friends.

Third in MV. watched now you see me 2.

Fourth dinner in Puchong, wine in Bangsar, Tea 1 in SS2 and Tea 2 in Old Klang Road.

Fifth - 3 days in KL

Sixth - 3 days in KL

Wow.. I didnt know we have had so many outings/meet ups?

I always wonder how does it feel for you.

Did you feel comfortable and at ease like I do?

Did you feel butterflies in your stomach sometimes?

Did you ever wished time would stop when we were having good time ?

What you didnt know is that I'm bad at expressing my thoughts and feelings. Might look cold outside but inside am melting. (I'm improving and fingerscrossed one day I'll be good at this)

And I think alot... I dont know whats on your mind. Sometimes it makes me anxious.

This is gonna be a short post.. I could've written hundreds of pages on what had happened.

I will write it out someday. Regardless where this is heading. 

No matter what, I'm sure its gonna be a good memories aye? :) #yolo

Thanks for everything.


Saturday, August 8, 2015

24

一眨眼就24岁了

前几天放工回家时,2.30凌晨

抬头看到宁静的天空

感觉好像,不过过了一阵子

原来已经那么久了

小学和中学时每天都抹黑起床

等巴士司机时无聊

就会抬头看天空

有时天气好就会看见满天的星星

这时不过早上6.30

全世界都在睡觉

——————————————————————————————————

最近真的好累,身体累,心也累

会想念旅行的自由自在,心无牵挂

走到哪 就欣赏哪里的美景,路人,享受异地美食

无论如何 今年一定要plan一个自己的旅行,至少一个星期!

after all the hard works... 如果不会享受成果,那么努力有什么意义呢?

——————————————————————————————————

有时觉得我很幸运

along the way i get to meet many nice people

some nice people 不是一开始就 nice 的people

some people 一开始就nice, 但原来不是很nice

luckily, i met more of the former than the latter

最近有个旧同事的问候

让我有了这样的感触

他教会了我很多,也给了很多忠告

这些话不是每个人都会跟你说

对于我来说,我很感激有个人 会告诉我要让自己进步, learn and equip myself with knowledge

plan ahead in 12 months, and visualize it to happen.

Thank you.
__________________________________________________________________

多五个月就2016了

24要变成25了

身边的朋友 很多都踏入社会 有的一年,两年

从曾经的大学新鲜人

成为了社会新鲜人

可能在迟些 就会成为新手父母了 哈哈

大学果然是最好的曾经

青春,自由,朋友,时间

有机会读第二次的话,无论如何已是不同的心态了

——————————————————————————————————

社会现实吗?

你现实吗?

你对以下的人有什么想法?

身着合身西装看着报纸的年轻男人

手领着Chanel名牌包包,穿着Christian Loubotin在逛街的女人

领着厚厚文件夹 一边讲电话一边看时间的人

穿着妖艳 戴着浓厚妆容的亚裔女人与的满头白发西方男人

有想法的话,你说社会现实吗?

Judgment is something people born with it, cause we need to learn not to be judgmental.
____________________________________________________________________

Signing off.












Friday, May 29, 2015

HI

hello my long abandoned blog.

guess its been almost a year since my last post.

Sometimes I'd wished I'd blog frequently, to record everything that has happened, and everyone I came across.

Everything has changed.

and thats the trend now i would say.

life-changing technology and fast paced lifestyle is the thing now.

Just some update of my life:

Study: I have finished my studies, and currently waiting for graduation ceremony to be convened coming September. At this point in life, I really really really miss Uni life alot. I guess a part of me will die after graduation, cuz I'm officially graduated and not a student anymore.

Work: Its challenging, not because of the work load, but the people I faces. At first it was okay but the longer i stayed, it seems like everything is not right.. or maybe its me who keep doing the comparison with other friends who are working in other MNC? Now I feel work life balance is very important, I want to attend Yoga class after work, chill with friends/colleagues at the bar, attend some training courses and perhaps assigned a oversea assignment.. ahh it all seems so far away.. Training wise, hmm, here they expect you to learn yourself, study materials are provided, supervisors are helpful? (depends on their mood/whether are they occupied) they will teach you.. Is everything systematic? No.. it is largely depends on human factor, which means what you say or what you do are to their liking, if they disapprove they you might not be able to get ur leave, unlike some company where u can apply through system and you are encouraged to fully utilized your annual leave. When you want to claim some work related bills you will need to get nod from bosses. Instead of following SOP, it is solely upon discretion of your supervisor. This is the part I hated the most. As I know, the practice of this industry are similar, you get high bonus, but in return you dont get to enjoy life. I'M IN DILEMMA. Work/profession that I've always wanted, but I'm not happy now. Maybe I should give myself another shot in another environment, only to decide whether should I change my path.

Friends: Glad that everyone's still keep in touch n update with each other.

Health: Still alive. Just need to cut some weight.

Dreams: As you grow older, your dreams will slowly fade away. Is it true? No... I'm still gonna start my own business one day. before 30.

Money Money Money, I need more money.

——————————————————————————————————

最近对人生有很多感悟,
在做工的日子里,
一个星期比一个星期过得很快,
由原本很慢,到慢,到快,到很快,到一眨眼的快。
心里会突然觉得很怕,
我的日子,最青春最有活力最美好的日子要这样过了吗?
不是说做工不好,
但会觉得这样的日子对人类,或对我自己有什么意义?
我看到我上司就这样做了好多年的工,
我不想那样
薪水虽然很好,
但是我的话,
我绝对会后悔。
我想要活自己的人生,为自己活。
做工是必要的,在可以自由自在飞之前,也要储够自己的子弹。
有时我想,可能每个人毕业后都想去闯出自己的一片天地,
到最后有多少人妥协了?

___________________________________________________________________

这是个残酷和现实的世界。

下回告诉你为什么。


加油。











Friday, September 12, 2014

感恩

1. 今天历尽千辛万苦才能把报告交了,终于真正的无所事事了!哈哈
2. 感谢妈妈的付出,我还没对你说谢谢..但是我心里真的很感谢你没嫌弃我又给你添麻烦。爱你!
3. 最近很喜欢很喜欢一首歌,化蝶by 一个姓胡的歌手。是tvb一部剧集的歌。
4. 最近不知怎么的 好像对世界一切红尘都看开了。我的悟性好像还蛮高的。在想我前世是和尚还是道士吗?我相信轮回之说。

为什么呢?stay tune. 嘻嘻 

Monday, September 8, 2014

日记-8-9-2014

1. 今天看了两部电影,《绣春刀》、《her》,第一部是关于锦衣卫,第二步比较精彩,是关于人类跟虚拟人类(好像Siri)的爱情故事。
2. 睡到自然醒。
3. 读了论坛一些关于CF的industry,我想I'm on the right track. Glad that I can work in this department. 

Sunday, September 7, 2014

日记-7.9.2014

1. 今天懒懒散散的赖在家,跟家人一起,看电视,读报纸,过的挺暇意的。
2. 吃货的一天,不停的吃,晚上妈妈特地做三色奶茶,看相还好但味道还不错!
3. 明天不用做工!但是要开始写报告了!耶!

我的人生有好多好多事情还没做啊...

这几天都在想,
我们的世界其实是进步,还是退步了。
科技的确是日新月异,
但人类的思考也有与时并进吗?
Knowledge 实在是太readily available 的年代,造就成每个人都更懒惰去吸收和学习,因为随时随地上网就可以知道一切为什么要花时间精神去学习。
(越rare的东西人们才会珍惜)

以前的社会,会崇拜智者,老师,或知识丰富的人,
现在的社会,却推崇有钱,高调,美丽的人。

我们的文明,是在进步还是退步?

日记-5.9.2014

1. 跟好友去看了一部引人深思的电影-《lucy》,很喜欢,电影里的台词都非常具有哲思,人类很渺小,却很自大。
2. 晚上的聚会吃了好多,很饱,好玩,跟小孩子一起玩让我也变的纯真,跟大人们聊天,跟亲戚做灯笼。
3. 身边的亲戚朋友都健康安好!

The truth is, all we have is NOW. 


Friday, September 5, 2014

三件感恩的事情-4/9/2014

1. 我还活在这世上!有明天就有希望!
2. 今天是实习的结束,假期的开始!
3. 今天中午跟同事上司departmental lunch @ Ozeki. 他们当是我的farewell lunch.


其实真的很感叹,mixed feelings. 
If that never happen, it's gonna be a welcoming lunch instead. 
God bless your soul, Beh. You were a good and kind young man, and I know you will definitely be remembered by your friends and family. Rest in peace. 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

倒数

倒数总是最快乐的
不是吗?

令人期待的未来
自己无法控制的去幻想 
理想中的明天,下个星期,下个月
但那天来了,然后过了
突然就有一种空虚和失落
是什么没了?

嗯,期待没了。

所以今天是最好的,我可以一直期待即将来临的三个星期假期。


美?

有时候我觉得自己很丑很丑,眼睛那么小鼻子那么塌 脸皮那么粗 毛孔那么大 肥死了

但有时候我觉得我好像好漂亮 好好看 人见人爱 车见车载 胖些些也可爱

好烦恼啊。

#大姨妈来时总喜欢想些有的没的 

Sunday, August 17, 2014

The fault in our stars

Mr. Van Houten,

I'm a good person, but a shitty writer. You're a shitty person, but a good writer. I think we'd make a good team. I don't want to ask you for any favors, but if you have the time, and from what I saw, you have plenty. Please fix this for me, it's a eulogy for Hazel. She asked me to write one and I'm trying, I just I could use a little flare. See the thing is, we all want to be remembered, but Hazel is different. Hazel knows the truth. She didn't want a million admirers, she just wanted one. And she got it. Maybe she wasn't loved widely, but she was loved deeply. And isn't that more than what most of us get? When Hazel was sick, I knew I was dying, but I didn't want to say so. She was in the ICU when I snuck in for 10 minutes and I sat with her before I got caught. Her eyes were closed, her skin pale, but her hands were still her hands. So warm and her nails were painted this dark blue black color and I just held them. Then I willed myself to imagine a world without us. What a worthless world that would be. She's so beautiful, you don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she's smarter than you because you know she is. She's funny without ever being mean. I love her, God I love her. I'm so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have say in who hurts you. And I like my choices, I hope she likes hers. Okay, Hazel Grace? 

- The Fault in Our Stars (2014)

Rating : 4.5/5.0

The majority, the lucky one doesn't know how to appreciate things, or people because we always take things for granted.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Freedom

我迫不及待摆脱你。

我会自由自在的飞。

我可以去找朋友。

我不需要听到咆哮或埋怨。




Friday, May 30, 2014

Fail

Why am I such a failure ?
Every little thing also can't accomplish, 
Been wanting to get good results in spm stpm and eventually all never meet my expectation. 
And now it's just one little step away from first class honor, just 0.02 more, 
I need a lil hard work more , to get it. And why does it seems so far away now?? 

So I have to say bye bye from first class honor. Again, I failed myself from getting it, I've been aiming it since year 1 in MMU. 

Im such a useless piece of cha siew. 

Never feel so down before. Ptptn can be waived with first class honor and the 39k is my liability now. 
Fail fail fail.






Sunday, April 27, 2014

少年不努力

有时间的话,我会想好好的读读历史书籍。只要是人,那么人性的弱点(贪婪,残暴,纵欲,骄傲等等)只会让历史不断重演。

孙子兵法一直没时间研究。
还有好多的中国古代留下来的智慧真的很值得研究,资治通鉴是另外一本我很想阅读,司马光著作,记载了一千多年的朝代盛衰兴亡,可以应用在现在管理上。(这些都是以前的学生需要读的,如果比起来以前的学生应该聪明过现代的学生,这里又有很长的故事要说,next post perhaps)

还有易经。买了但是还没读。

为什么我不早一点知道呢?这些对以前的我来说是很沉闷很无聊的,还想既然已经发生了的事情都改变不了,为什么要去研究呢,可是不知道是人长大了,竟然会开始对过去的事情有兴趣,想要了解自己的根。

现在的想法是虽然过去了但是人类一定要从中吸取教训,学习和避免错误再次重演。

人果然都会变啊。


Saturday, April 26, 2014

Internship Interview

Standard chartered called me up for an interview. Long story short, I kinda screw up the interview.. Not confident that they will offer me or not.. Anyway even if they offer me I have to think twice , cuz the field that I'm interested is investment banking. 

Really in dilemma .. I do interested in stocks but is it the right field to go in? Is IB more related with corporate finance? 
But what I like is to make profit from selling and buying of stocks or forming a portfolio I would say.. 

But never try never know. 
Jiumu has been really helpful for giving me lots of suggestion and information.. She even advise me to apply to all and if really decided to go into IB then what I need to do right now is to get into Securities firm .. Definitely not commercial bank. If I get into commercial bank now, it will be harder for me to enter IB later as I have zero exposure in IB. 

Ahhhhh I really hate crossroads. :(( 

Ok I'm not gonna compromise.

I'm not 100% confident that I will love IB but I think must give it a try first to know whether it is the right industry for me or not. Cuz once I made the decision.. There's no turning back.. Oh o...... 

So that means, 
#1- if enter commercial bank, cannot go into IB later. 
#2- if enter IB, can still change later. 


RHB oh RHB can you please call me?? 



Thursday, March 27, 2014

Starbucks

This place is used to be a great spot for people to do their work quietly and serenely. And now I'm in starbuck studying for mid term next week and realized .. Why so bising one??!! 

Is it because the cost of living is higher now and thus Starbucks is relatively cheaper and everyone comes here.

People discussing business here, parents bring kids / grandma brings grandchildren for tea time, a group of friends come and chit chat, all sorts of formal and informal meeting... 

Ahhhh I freaking BTH the noise !! 
Want chit chat please go somewhere else.. 
So now here become the high class kopitiam for people dy. 



ANGRY. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Most anticipated Holidays are coming!

OMG OMG
This is gonna be my second last semester break ever!!
Next sem will be my second last sem- taking two subjects during short sem, and then going for intern in the last sem!
So currently still got one more paper! Just one more!! After defeating 6 papers and after friday...
I am FREEEEEEE!

Before this coming holiday,
I really have so many things to do!! Time flies and suddenly I've already in my Final year!
Gotta make the best out of it before I graduated!

So here's my plan,

Taking part in CIMB Trail challenge on 1st March,
Going to apply for CIMA business challenge (however looking for team member, who wanna join meee? =O =O)
Work as event crew for FMFA 13-15 march
Study on stock market using technical analysis
Set up a FB page and Website for dad
Do research on CFA level 1 exam
Online research??
Finish reading my bookssss (whole lots of books waiting for meee which I bought for 2 years during big bad wolf book sales)
Prepare resume
Target companies for internship (Maybank? CIMB? Shell? IBM? PWC? urghhh...)

That‘s all and I hope I can complete my to-do-list within this three weeks!

Keep fighting for the last paper Come on!!!

Grrrr!!!!!




Saturday, February 15, 2014

意见女上身!


天哪啊啊啊 脑残的网民无处不在。

讲话不用本的。

我很geram 啊
我们国家几时才会进步呢??

话不多说我们有图为证。


 
吃得起的人都不会有这种一般见识的third world mindset 吧。这个人讲话之前请查看什么是米其林星级。
(米其林餐厅需要你这个无名小卒宣传?)

#自以为是是一种病

Saturday, January 18, 2014

五年

刚刚跟父母去茶餐室吃完早餐。
很久没有一大早起身陪爸妈吃东西了。
看看周围都是一些年轻爸妈跟自己的小孩(四五岁的),要不然就是三代同堂,他们的爷爷奶奶也不过老我爸妈几岁。。
突发奇想,在最快最快五年内,
我的人生将会经历一连串major changes,
比如毕业,工作,拍拖,结婚,生小孩。(generally speaking,撇去我可能是剩女的可能性)
我的天,我自认还是个乳臭未干的小屁孩,为什么这么快就要面对这些大人的事情?!

还是不能接受我今年二十三岁了。
曾经我也以为二十三岁很大啊,可是才发现不论多大,我永远都想活在爸妈的羽翼下,不想长大。
小学同学都生第二胎了啊啊。


永远怀念的时光:那个小学二年级牵着爸爸手,从学校刚拿完成绩册,爸爸帮我伶书包,然后一起回家的快乐小孩。

那是个多么遥远的年代。

时间好像不多了,我要尽早孝敬他们。


刚才吃早餐看见的三只小狗,正在用餐的街坊小孩们都被他们逗乐了。真的很可爱。