日记-7.9.2014

1. 今天懒懒散散的赖在家，跟家人一起，看电视，读报纸，过的挺暇意的。

2. 吃货的一天，不停的吃，晚上妈妈特地做三色奶茶，看相还好但味道还不错！

3. 明天不用做工！但是要开始写报告了！耶！

我的人生有好多好多事情还没做啊...

这几天都在想，

我们的世界其实是进步，还是退步了。

科技的确是日新月异，

但人类的思考也有与时并进吗？

Knowledge 实在是太readily available 的年代，造就成每个人都更懒惰去吸收和学习，因为随时随地上网就可以知道一切为什么要花时间精神去学习。

（越rare的东西人们才会珍惜）

以前的社会，会崇拜智者，老师，或知识丰富的人，

现在的社会，却推崇有钱，高调，美丽的人。

我们的文明，是在进步还是退步？

日记-5.9.2014

1. 跟好友去看了一部引人深思的电影-《lucy》，很喜欢，电影里的台词都非常具有哲思，人类很渺小，却很自大。

2. 晚上的聚会吃了好多，很饱，好玩，跟小孩子一起玩让我也变的纯真，跟大人们聊天，跟亲戚做灯笼。

3. 身边的亲戚朋友都健康安好！

The truth is, all we have is NOW. 

三件感恩的事情-4/9/2014

1. 我还活在这世上！有明天就有希望！

2. 今天是实习的结束，假期的开始！

3. 今天中午跟同事上司departmental lunch @ Ozeki. 他们当是我的farewell lunch.

其实真的很感叹，mixed feelings. 

If that never happen, it's gonna be a welcoming lunch instead. 

God bless your soul, Beh. You were a good and kind young man, and I know you will definitely be remembered by your friends and family. Rest in peace. 

倒数

倒数总是最快乐的

不是吗？

令人期待的未来

自己无法控制的去幻想 

理想中的明天，下个星期，下个月

但那天来了，然后过了

突然就有一种空虚和失落

是什么没了？

嗯，期待没了。

所以今天是最好的，我可以一直期待即将来临的三个星期假期。

耶

美？

有时候我觉得自己很丑很丑，眼睛那么小鼻子那么塌 脸皮那么粗 毛孔那么大 肥死了

但有时候我觉得我好像好漂亮 好好看 人见人爱 车见车载 胖些些也可爱

好烦恼啊。

#大姨妈来时总喜欢想些有的没的 

The fault in our stars

Mr. Van Houten,

I'm a good person, but a shitty writer. You're a shitty person, but a good writer. I think we'd make a good team. I don't want to ask you for any favors, but if you have the time, and from what I saw, you have plenty. Please fix this for me, it's a eulogy for Hazel. She asked me to write one and I'm trying, I just I could use a little flare. See the thing is, we all want to be remembered, but Hazel is different. Hazel knows the truth. She didn't want a million admirers, she just wanted one. And she got it. Maybe she wasn't loved widely, but she was loved deeply. And isn't that more than what most of us get? When Hazel was sick, I knew I was dying, but I didn't want to say so. She was in the ICU when I snuck in for 10 minutes and I sat with her before I got caught. Her eyes were closed, her skin pale, but her hands were still her hands. So warm and her nails were painted this dark blue black color and I just held them. Then I willed myself to imagine a world without us. What a worthless world that would be. She's so beautiful, you don't get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she's smarter than you because you know she is. She's funny without ever being mean. I love her, God I love her. I'm so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have say in who hurts you. And I like my choices, I hope she likes hers. Okay, Hazel Grace? 

- The Fault in Our Stars (2014)

Rating : 4.5/5.0

The majority, the lucky one doesn't know how to appreciate things, or people because we always take things for granted.

Freedom

我迫不及待摆脱你。

我会自由自在的飞。

我可以去找朋友。

我不需要听到咆哮或埋怨。

Fail

Why am I such a failure ?

Every little thing also can't accomplish, 

Been wanting to get good results in spm stpm and eventually all never meet my expectation. 

And now it's just one little step away from first class honor, just 0.02 more, 

I need a lil hard work more , to get it. And why does it seems so far away now?? 

So I have to say bye bye from first class honor. Again, I failed myself from getting it, I've been aiming it since year 1 in MMU. 

Im such a useless piece of cha siew. 

Never feel so down before. Ptptn can be waived with first class honor and the 39k is my liability now. 

Fail fail fail.

少年不努力

有时间的话，我会想好好的读读历史书籍。只要是人，那么人性的弱点（贪婪，残暴，纵欲，骄傲等等）只会让历史不断重演。

孙子兵法一直没时间研究。

还有好多的中国古代留下来的智慧真的很值得研究，资治通鉴是另外一本我很想阅读，司马光著作，记载了一千多年的朝代盛衰兴亡，可以应用在现在管理上。（这些都是以前的学生需要读的，如果比起来以前的学生应该聪明过现代的学生，这里又有很长的故事要说，next post perhaps)

还有易经。买了但是还没读。

为什么我不早一点知道呢？这些对以前的我来说是很沉闷很无聊的，还想既然已经发生了的事情都改变不了，为什么要去研究呢，可是不知道是人长大了，竟然会开始对过去的事情有兴趣，想要了解自己的根。

现在的想法是虽然过去了但是人类一定要从中吸取教训，学习和避免错误再次重演。

人果然都会变啊。

Internship Interview

Standard chartered called me up for an interview. Long story short, I kinda screw up the interview.. Not confident that they will offer me or not.. Anyway even if they offer me I have to think twice , cuz the field that I'm interested is investment banking. 

Really in dilemma .. I do interested in stocks but is it the right field to go in? Is IB more related with corporate finance? 

But what I like is to make profit from selling and buying of stocks or forming a portfolio I would say.. 

But never try never know. 

Jiumu has been really helpful for giving me lots of suggestion and information.. She even advise me to apply to all and if really decided to go into IB then what I need to do right now is to get into Securities firm .. Definitely not commercial bank. If I get into commercial bank now, it will be harder for me to enter IB later as I have zero exposure in IB. 

Ahhhhh I really hate crossroads. :(( 

Ok I'm not gonna compromise.

I'm not 100% confident that I will love IB but I think must give it a try first to know whether it is the right industry for me or not. Cuz once I made the decision.. There's no turning back.. Oh o...... 

So that means, 

#1- if enter commercial bank, cannot go into IB later. 

#2- if enter IB, can still change later. 

RHB oh RHB can you please call me??